If you're going through a tough time with your spouse and think that marriage counseling might be an asset, you might also feel nervous about seeking this type of help. It could be easy to begin thinking of reasons that you don't want to get counseling. In some cases, you'll make a mental list of the things that you think you need to take to your first session, and then may tell yourself that you can't put this list together for some reason. It's important to realize that some nerves about going to counseling are normal and that you don't really need to prepare for the first session. Here are three things that you don't need to take with you.
A Thorough Understanding Of When The Problem Started
Some couples might feel that they need to be perfectly clear about when their relationship problem began, and the idea of thinking about this topic may cause stress. It's important to know that you don't have to have a polished synopsis to deliver to the therapist about the roots of your marital strife. Instead, you and your spouse can simply begin to talk about what has been bothering you in the relationship and how you've been feeling. The history of the issue isn't what's important — what is important is the direction you're heading.
A List Of What You Need To Change
Marriage counseling can often compel you and your spouse to make a series of positive changes that will impact your relationship. However, you don't need to know in advance what you want or need to change. Of course, having a rough idea of a few of these topics can be helpful, but if the idea of writing out this list before your first session is daunting, don't worry about showing up without it. As you and your spouse talk to your counselor, he or she will help you both to identify areas of conflict, and that will give you some ideas on what you need to change.
An Expected Time Frame For Results
Your relationship is likely complicated, and this means that you can't really say that you want things better in four to six weeks, for example. While such diagnoses might be common in the medical world — for example, a massage therapist may indicate that he or she can fix your back pain in a certain number of treatments — it's not the same in counseling. Don't feel as though you need to declare an expected time frame for results. Provided that you're both eager to get through the issue, your counselor will help you to get there — whether it's a short-term fix or a longer haul.
For more information, contact your local family therapy service.Share